Our Fourth Step inventory and Fifth Step admission will help us in creating this list. We are careful not to leave anyone off and write the list to the best of our ability. Making the Ninth Step amends is the pink elephant in the middle of the room that we carefully teeter around and ignore.
We must make this list without consideration of making the actual amends. Again, it is just a list! Gathering the Courage we discovered in Step Four, we move forward with our list and our Willingness to make our amends. We find the Courage to write the list regardless and the Courage to make the amends will come from our Higher Power in Step Nine.
After practicing Steps Six and Seven, we arrive at Step Eight with a better understanding of who we are and our place in the world. In the grand scheme of things, we really are just like everyone else. We all have the same fears, dreams, feelings and emotions. We finally have Compassion!
We are more understanding of others and actually feel empathy towards them, possibly for the first time. We are no longer thinking of just ourselves and saving our hides, but we start to care about other people. Who would have thought a disease based in selfish, self-centeredness would allow us to finally feel human?! We are now ready to go on to Step Nine and make amends to the rest of the world. Go to Step Nine. Following the subsequent extensive growth of twelve step programs for other addictive and dysfunctional behaviors, many additional books were written and recordings and videos were produced.
These cover the steps in greater detail and how people have specifically applied the steps in their lives.
Probably the most extensive chronology and historical background about the attempts for dealing with alcoholism which led to A. The twelve steps of the program are listed above and on the steps page in generic form.
Other groups who have adopted the 12 steps to address their own particular addictive or dysfunctional behavior have similar ideas, usually with only minor variations. These steps are ideally meant to be worked sequentially as a process of getting rid of addictive behaviors and should result in a growth in freedom and happiness, as outlined in the Promises.
The general governing approach for A. There is additional information about 12 Step programs in Wikipedia , including a list of 12 step groups. In our directory, we also have a more detailed and extensive list of 12 step groups as well as numerous other resources for working a program of recovery.
View the Newcomers Guide for some straightforward tips and a quick overview about starting a 12 Step program. It could be the best thing you ever did. View some videos covering the steps in general or for each step individually. These videos cover a wide variety of perspectives about the 12 steps.
Review how the different fellowships A. This is the only attitude that will lead to emotional resolution. We need to demonstrate a spirit of good will. In this spirit, we assume that no one has harmed us on purpose, that any pain inflicted on us was an accident of circumstance.
We give them the benefit of the doubt. It is not our job or our concern to mention their transgressions or faults. Don't forget to make amends to those from whom you have borrowed money or to whom you owe money. Instead of empty apologies, make payments on your debts Reflecting on all levels of your awareness is very important to a thorough Eighth Step. When making a list of the persons you have harmed, consider the following: The name of the person who has been harmed Memories of harm done Thoughts about the harm Feelings about the harm Intentions you now have Amends you can make for the harm caused The Eighth Step is about identifying the damage we caused.
It doesn't matter whether we caused it because we were overtaken by rage, carelessness, or because we were afraid. It doesn't matter whether our actions were based in selfishness, arrogance, dishonesty, or another defect. It doesn't even matter that we didn't intend to cause someone harm.
All the damage we caused is material for the Eighth Step. It may turn out that some of the harm we did can't be repaired. It may turn out that we, ourselves, can't directly make the repair.
It may even turn out that we're not responsible for something we've placed on our Eighth Step list. Our sponsor will help us sort that out before we go on to the Ninth Step. For now, our task is only to identify who we harmed, and what the harm was, and become willing to make amends.
Some of us may still believe that we're basically nice people who have never truly harmed anyone - except ourselves, that is. If we're truly stumped about who belongs on our amends list, or we have a vague idea that our family belongs there but we're not sure why, it could be that we're overlooking something or that our denial is still pretty thick.
Sometimes we're just not able to see the truth about certain situations, even after many years in recovery. A suggestion that many of us have followed is that if we think of someone to whom we seem to owe amends, but we can't think of the situation that resulted in our owning amends, we put the name on the list anyway.
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